i do, especially in role play…
Another TV appearance as Super Junior M. Henry stands around between takes and tries to look like he’s enjoying himself, but behind his smile, he heart feels heavy in his chest. The phone conversation he had a few nights ago with his girlfriend - wait, ex-girlfriend - replays in his head as people bustle about, getting ready for another take. Donghae had to poke him alert whenever he was silent and solemn, and Henry always smiled at his friend and said he was fine whenever he was asked. However, all he could hear was those fateful words, crackled slightly with bad reception on her end of the phone:
I’m sorry, Henry. I can’t be with you any more. It kills me to say it, but it’s over.
He hadn’t slept since that phone call. He caught two, maybe three hours of slumber, but he lay awake for the vast majority of the night, willing, wishing, wanting things to be different.
As a woman significantly shorter than him dabs his nose with a sponge, Henry looks to the audience. Most of them are fans and wave at him and scream when he waves back, but his hand stops short in mid-air when he sees a face in the crowd. Her. She gives him a small, fleeting smile when their eyes meet. Henry feels like his heart stops. Breathing is difficult. Everything around him becomes a blur and the only thing in sharp focus is her - the blue sweater that brings out the colour of her eyes, the soft hair that he runs his fingers through when she’s asleep, the necklace he got her for her birthday around her delicate neck. Henry feels dizzy, stable at the same time. Confused, yet his mind has never been clearer. Terrified, yet overcome with joy. He doesn’t know what to do. He’s stuck. He needs help.
Kyuhyun is talking to the MC when Henry places his hand on his shoulder and leans in close to his ear.
Kyuhyun’s eyes widen a little.
“Here? Where?” Kyuhyun whispers back.
“In the audience. Third row from the back. In the blue.”
“What do I do? I…I don’t know what do to. Why is she here? Does she want to talk? Do I talk to her? I don’t….I just don’t know,” Henry rushes, raising his hand to his head and rubbing his forehead with the pads of his fingers.
“No. You can’t talk to her. That chapter in you life is closed. It’s done.”
“I can’t do this, Kyu. I can’t have her here. It’s just…it’s just too painful.”
Kyuhyun lays a comforting hand on the younger man’s arm.
“I know. Stay calm. Don’t think about why she’s here or what she wants. Think about what you want. Think about what’s in here,” Kyuhyun presses a tip of a long finger into Henry’s chest. “You’ve got a heart of gold, Henry. Don’t give it to her again.”
“But what if she’s decides she wants me back?” Henry asks.
“Do you want to be with someone who hurt you just to realise how good they had it?”
Henry mulls over Kyuhyun’s words. He’s got a point. He looks into his bandmate’s wide, brown eyes and nods.
“I know it’s hard because you gave everything to her, but you need to do this. You need to move on,” Kyuhyun says gently.
“You’re right. Thank you.”
Kyuhyun gives him an small yet encouraging smile as they are called for another take.
Back at the dorm, Henry flops on his bed. She managed to get round to the back of the TV studio. She tried to talk to him, tried to tell him she was sorry, that she wanted to give them another go, but Henry just kept walking. Kyuhyun slipped his hand into his and gave it a squeeze, silently congratulating him on doing the right thing.
His phone rings away in his pocket but he ignores that too. Just as he rejects another of her calls, there is a soft knock on his door and Kyuhyun pokes his head into his room.
“Is she calling?”
“Yeah. I’m not answering,” Henry replies, looking down at his phone and rubbing his thumb over her name on the caller ID.
“Good. Keep being strong. You don’t need her.”
“I know. But she…she was everything to me.” Henry’s voice cracks and he hangs his head, crying about his breakup for the first time. The bed dips as Kyuhyun sits next to him and thin arms wrap around Henry’s body, pulling him to the older man’s chest and cradling him. He whispers promises of things getting better, of this ordeal getting easier. Henry finds it hard to believe at this point in time, but he feels safe and comforted in Kyuhyun’s arms.
Kyuhyun’s utters of reassurance are silenced by Henry’s lips on his. The kiss is small, brief, merely a touching of the lips, but it leaves the two men taken aback.
“Sorry,” Henry mutters.
Henry bows his head to hide his face, but Kyuhyun catches his chin and tilts Henry’s head back up so their eyes meet. He presses his lips to Henry’s. This time, the kiss is longer yet still as soft. It reminds Henry of his first kiss with her. It seems like decades ago but he remembers it like it was yesterday. The softness of her lips, the smell of her perfume the tickle of her hair on his cheek. It’s all too much, all too real. He sobs into the kiss and pulls away, tears slipping down his face.
“It’s okay,” Kyuhyun repeats before holding Henry’s head to his chest as the younger man cries. It’s going to take Henry a few days, but he’s determined to kiss Kyuhyun again and not be haunted by her.
my laptop or ipod <3